Tricked By Love
by iTz-TaSty-BoO
Summary: First it's love, Then abuse, Then hate, and Then it's sex. It's a cycle. Take a look into John and Randy's Love/Hate relationship and find out if the will work things out, or will things remain the way they are for eternity?
1. Chapter 1

_You were my Novocain, _

_You took all pain away, _

_You gave me a reason to live another day._

John was up all night crying over his boyfriend. They got into some stupid fight and Randy had left him. Randy was the only thing that kept John from self-destructing. Before the two had become a couple, John was depressed. He would do things to hurt himself, not because he needed to "feel something" but because he felt that he deserved it. He deserved to bleed, to be wounded, and to be hurt. He was slowly killing himself. John never thought that he could ever be happy, that is until Randy came along. Even though John always put on a phony smile and acted as if everything was alright, Randy could see right through it.

The two were always together, they were inseparable. Laughing, kissing, hugging and loving is what they loved to do the most, no matter who judged them or their relationship, they didn't care, the only people who mattered the were each other. John's depression faded and faded with each passing day. There was no more late night crying, wiping tears away, or finding ways to cause himself anymore pain. Everything was okay, until now.

_Was he only a distraction?_ John thought to himself. The depression never really went anywhere. It was just being shoved aside because of a _distraction._ The deeper his thoughts, the quicker those same feelings came back. His heart beat fast and painfully in his chest, his head became heavy, and then the hysterical crying. John got up from the bed and raided the closet for his small box of old razor blades, prescription pills, and anything else that could possibly numb the pain or simply put him out of his own misery.

"_I love him._" John said aloud as he put his hand over an eye patch that covered his left eye. He placed the same hand and ran it over his beaten up torso, and battered arms. He winced at the slight pain that coursed throughout his whole body. He popped open a bottle of pills and began swallowing them one by one. He didn't know what kind of pills they were and he didn't care. He ran his tongue over his swelled lips as he set the cold metal blade over his arm and sliced it across a few times, watching the crimson colored fluid run out freely.

Before John might've blacked out, he picked up a pen and notepad from the nightstand and wrote;

_My Love,_

_If I don't wake up, please don't worry,_

_I did this for the both of us, _

_It's what we both secretly wanted. _

_Just know that I'll always love you despite what happened and I'll be watching down on you._

_No more pain, no more suffering._

_Now we can both be at peace._

_I want you to move on, find someone who is more worthy than me._

_You may forget me but I'll never forget you._

John set the small letter down on the nightstand and lay back down. The pillows where his cut arm rested were streaked with blood. He closed his eyes and hoped he'd wake up tomorrow in a better place….


	2. Chapter 2

_Knock Knock_

"Ugh..."

John opened his heavy eyelids and cringed at the pain that overtook his weak body. It was early in the morning and he was _NOT _in the mood for this. He lay there in bed looking straight at the ceiling, trying to make his pain go away. He questioned why he was able to wake up. He wasn't supposed to, nor did he want to. It didn't matter to him anymore. All he could hear was someone repeatedly knocking on the door like it was some kind of emergency.

_Who in the hell is here at this hour anyway? It's 7:00am for Christ's sakes! _John thought to himself. With every fiber of his being, he slowly pulled his achy body off of the bed and drug his feet all the way downstairs. John opened the door and scowled. "What in the hell do you wa-" He was cut off by a fierce passionate kiss from his lover, Randy. The door closed behind them and the kiss got deeper and deeper. Randy slowly pulled his lips apart from John's then intertwined each other's fingers together. Randy led John into the living room and lied down on the couch, pulling John on top of him. Randy's bottom lip quivered as tears fell freely from his sea-blue eyes. "I'm here because I'm sorry for what I did to you," He said, running his hand over John's bruised face. "I love you. I love you so much babe, you have no Idea how much I do. It kills me to look at you, because I see the bruises and the pain, I see the fear in your eyes. I did this to you. I hurt you, I _broke_ you." Randy sobbed.

John kissed Randy's cheek and wiped his tears away. It was a rare thing to see Randy cry or show any weakness. "You must really love me then, yeah?" John asked, trying to smile. "Yeah." Randy responded. They lay in silence holding onto each other tightly for only a few minutes which seemed like a few hours. For once in a whole 24 hours John felt his pain beginning to dwindle down. Randy and John felt at ease, but at the same time it felt like there was a large gap between them.

"Randy, why do you do these things?" John asked. "Has somebody been hurting you?"

"No." Randy said bluntly.

"You're lying. How I can tell? You won't look me in the eye and tell me the _Truth."_ Said John.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even our families…" Randy said.

**Okay, I know this was short, and I'm, sorry but I hoped you liked it! Comment and tell me what you guys think!**


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